MY UNFORTUNATE DATE WITH RAPE

 

Hello guys. Today’s post is rather touching, thought provoking and quite disturbing...We all need to start doing something to stop abuses of all forms. This story was sent to me (name withheld) by someone who was a direct victim...Please read, encourage and take a step towards ending this form of societal menace. Here’s her story:

Moby:

I hate men! I hate men so much I can't even stand them, the very sight of a man sends negative signals to my brain and all I see is an epitome of hellish evil.  Though I have a brother, I can't even stand him too. I never really got to meet or know my father, so I don’t have a place for men in my heart and life.  I still don't understand why God is so patient. What kind of man is He? Where's He when there is a need for judgement?

I was barely 7 when I was raped by a man my mum trusted so much. This man was a 'supposed' man of God as they all claim they are.  I was still very innocent so I still don't understand the attraction he had towards me...I mean there were no breast, no hips, no butts, a totally inexperienced and almost nonexistent vagina. I probably still bed wetted sometimes at that age.

While I was growing up, I knew my dad and mum weren't staying together though I got to know why when I got older. My mum was the one taking care of me. We were staying in the BQ of this so called man of God since that was all my mum could afford then as we didn't have money at all.  1 square meal wasn't sure for me sometimes but my mum was really working hard. She did all the odd jobs just to make sure we survived.  On that fateful day, my mum was going for a vigil in her church so she asked that I stayed with this pastor and his wife because I was too young to stay at home alone. It was the best and only option she had and since the pastor's wife had a soft spot for me because she didn't have a child, it was okay I spent the night in the main house. I slept in the guest room while they slept in their own room.  As I slept, I felt a touch and I woke up to see a huge figure standing by the bed I was sleeping on, it was quite dark so at first I couldn’t figure out who it was or if I was dreaming, especially as I had not slept on a comfortable bed for a while so the sleep was sweet and I wasn’t willing to wake up. If only I knew what was coming my way. Till tomorrow I can remember vividly the pain, the fear, the disappointment and disgust I felt like it happened yesterday. He woke me up from my sleep and placed me on his lap then told me not to shout and that if I did, he would beat the hell out of me. Imagine...I was barely 7 years old. The naïve, scared and innocent girl in me believed him. I particularly did not like being punished in any way so I just kept mum. He then placed me on the bed, raised up my dress, took off my panties and laid on me and the next thing I felt was a very sharp and hurtful pain in my vagina. I've never felt so much pain in my life. I thought I was going to die. Every time, even today, I ask myself if there was something I could have done at that moment..I still hate myself for not doing something..Not sure what 7 year old me could have done though.

Moby I lost everything at that moment. My innocence! I probably didn’t realise that day, until I was much older that I also lost my pride and dignity as a woman for no justifiable reason. I was only a child. What did I do to deserve that? Children my age were thinking about barbie dolls and disney land, for the aje butter and for those like me, we were thinking of soyo, baba dudu and the day our Mummy would take us to see “Father Christmas”....he spoilt all childhood memories for me..Because whenever I try to remember my happy childhood days, his figure standing over me and his face just takes over my thoughts. I cried till the next morning and no one could stop me. When my mum came back and took me to our quarters and asked what happened and all I could utter was 'pastor put his thing in my bum bum'. The fear, pain, shame, disappointment I saw on her face was enough to destroy my world. She didn't do anything. She just packed our little bag, filled it up with all she could, carried me on her back and we left. We left that house and that was the last time I saw him. I wish my mum did something. Embarrass him, curse him, call the police or anything but she didn't. She considered her status....that she was nobody and could do nothing..it would have been her words against his and her words were that of a 7 year old. I am going to look for the man now that I'm grown and if he's dead, I would burn his grave and I pray he rots in hell where he truly belongs.

When I watch Nigerian movies and see these things happen, people laugh over it but I just can’t. It happened to me, I was cast in a movie I did not want to be in and in my case, it was real..real undressing, real penetration, real pain!...

This is my story.

 

This is a true story. The teller sent it to me in confidence and I asked if I could share and she agreed. Please if you were raped, speak up! Tell someone. Don't let fear or ignorance push you to the wall. Apart from the pain, you are at a risk of getting something else, maybe a disease or some internal injuries or damages. So please talk to someone and then get checked. These things cause depression which could lead suicidal thoughts. Speak to someone...someone you can trust. And let's be careful who we leave our kids with. No one can be trusted but God.

Please, help encourage her... I can't do it alone. This is too much for just me. We are each others keepers. God bless us and keep us and our loved ones.