BEAUTIFUL WITHIN AND WITHOUT

 

Hello Mi Queridas...  Even though it’s days after my birthday, I'm still feeling fly and still basking in the euphoria of the celebrations..... Abeg let me chop the life of my head (for the non-Yoruba’s I am too sure you think my last statement is a blunder that should never ever be said...well it actually is a direct translation to the Yoruba phrase 'Moo n je aye ori mi'. Though the correct “literal” meaning is I'm just enjoying all I can ...I did a direct translation as per how it sounds...phew! Capice??.LOL.

 So today, I want to talk about a topic I am very sure every normal person has struggled with. I looked at my cousin yesterday...She's just 17 and I noticed she was really cautious in: picking her dress, her looks, her tummy and every little detail about her. As she frisked herself for blemishes and blunders, all I did was smile (and SMH’d for her). 

As a teenager, I struggled with feeling insecure about my body. It was either I hadn't started growing boobs and then it was my boobs were too big for my size, then I remember feeling not sooo beautiful because I had terrible things called PIMPLES and BLACKHEADS, I felt I had a flat ass which I still do by the way, big tummy and perhaps fat legs....*covers face*. See how I am casting myself *hands on head*

People call it 'low self esteem' but I think I had a problem. I wasn't the always shy type but once anyone mentioned anything that was wrong with me physically, I just retreat into a shell and start worrying over nothing. I used to like this boy in secondary school. His name is Lewis Avarobe. Mehn I liked this boy ehn...( I'll give you his gist someday). He liked me too and in my head I was always wondering 'why the f#@k does this dude like me'. I had inferiority complex at some point and kept on thinking I probably wasn’t good enough for him or anyone else for that matter. I had lots of these issues when I was growing up o, at one point, It felt like it was just me being too critical about myself or maybe I just wasn’t good looking but I've come to realise that 70 percent of humans go through these things but on like many other similar victims, I didn't have the right people to talk to about my issues. My sisters had problems of their own, my mum was always too busy and my father was absent so it was just me taking care of me. But then I survived.

A good example of someone going through similar stuff while growing up is Le boo, I remember he told me he was always teased and verbally assaulted by his mates  because of his dark complexion during his secondary school days... They used to call him one funny name I'm sure he would physically, spiritually and even emotionally kill me if I mentioned.... By the way he is still black *runs off before he sees me*. So he made up his mind that when he gets to Uni no one would take advantage of him. He ended being the most popular kid in Uni and was quite sought after by babes *that part he made sure I heard and stuck to my memory.... and if he ever gets to tell you this story, he would tell you that he was really sought after... **this boy would kill me today*. And yes from being bullied he became the bully...*rolls eyes*...(not good bro..no good at all).

My point is these things will come and go. As a child, a teenager or an adult (yes so many adults still have low self esteem), it’s okay for you to feel below par but you should never let it affect who you are and should not let it determine who you are gonna be.  Within the past years I have overcome these fears merely by learning to love myself in the huge way as I love those around me. That's all you need. Build healthy relationships and be around people that love and appreciate you. Don't be around friends that would do anything to run you down. Some friends thrive on bringing others down just to hide their own faults and shortcomings. You are beautiful...don't ever tell yourself otherwise.
I stay healthy and well fed (*raises eyebrow* I’m watching my weight…durhhhh) thereby maintaining a peaceful mind. It doesn’t matter whether you are fat, skinny or chubby... In my opinion, it boils down to how comfortable we are with our bodies, how psychologically stable we are and most importantly how well we carry ourselves. These speak volume into our character and personality. Gbam!

So what will I tell anyone that wants to hear the truth?  Live your life... ‘Dem say dem say’, ‘won so ipe’ (they said) , na dem sabi.....Let people talk that’s why they have mouths..... They would get tired eventually. I've been a victim of 'this person said and that person said' and I've been able to surpass all by Gods grace. I almost died from rumour mongers but I learnt that people who talk about you are just too blind to see where you are going...and back biters are always ‘at the BACK’.... So just live your life, be happy, stay healthy and be comfortable in your body. That's all....I rest my case.

 

*COURT*!!!!.....Arise.

Cheers *giggles*