WOMEN ARE TERRIBLE LIARS

This is what you have been waiting for
.....

It is ready.....

the potion is ready *buahhh haa haa ah*😈

*rubs palm together + evil grin* *smh*

This should be so much fun right? 

At the end of this post, some people might be very angry at me...some might want my head..but the things I have to do for love....for love of my Mobylizing brothers...*hugs*. I am like a mother of 2 kids with each of them believing I like him / her more than the other....so how do I prove to them I love them both?  I have to be impartial and yet diplomatic in my judgement and both of them have to believe I love each of them more. That is where I find myself and hence the reason for this post. I have dealt with the guys so I have to strike a balance by dealing with the ladies a little bit *smiles*...I promise I won't say all the lies we tell..I won't totally give us away rather, I would let us do the remaining in the comment section down below...So it won't just be me spilling the beans here..We shall do it together..LOL.

Guys, you know all those lies we ladies tell you when we don't want to grant you guys access to the holy of holies?...Yeah those flimsy excuses you've been given?..I'm going to tell some and I want you guys to tell us others that you have heard or have been told....I want to know them all and ladies you can snitch a little here...Tell us some you've heard or those you have told *😉* I promise I won't tell anyone you did...😇

So while I was working on this post, I had already typed it and I don't know what I did... I mistakenly cleared the post. This is not the 1st time this is happening but I was still angry with my phone and at myself. I just closed the app I use to type posts on my phone and dropped it till yesterday. I can't come and let one phone give me hypertension... 

So I kinda put Tito and few of my neighbours on the hot seat for this post. I mean who else would tell me the lies women tell other than the guys?... the things they told me ehn, even I was scared for our species. Ladies una dey try o...three gbosa for all of una abeg.🙌🙌🙌.. There was one particular one my neighbour told me and I laughed till I choked. Girls it's not fair to lie like that you know. Okay let's get to work.... *adjusts collar....rubs palm together.....mic check 1...2*

The first and one that was mostly mentioned is the I AM ON MY PERIOD and so I am going to call people in this category "The Periodic Sisters"😎. I want to just ask a question. ..Why would you go all the way to a guy's house, that you seriously know wants to sleep with you, and tell him you are on your period??.. And please don't tell me how you will know a guy wants to sleep with you... it's part of being a woman...You would just know. You could have saved this guy the stress of planning, cleaning his apartment and lifting weight just by telling him on the phone. Guess what.. guys have now devised a way of knowing if you are lying....(come close first let me whisper it to you *clears throat*) My neighbour told me that men now have period calculators on their phones to monitor their babes and side chicks period..Surprised?..Yes they do that now. So when you tell them you are on, they lock it in and start calculating for you...they even know your safe days that you don't know... these men are getting smarter by the day shey? So your "periodic lie" would only work once... I laughed so hard when I heard it. So babes you are warned now oo...If you don't want to get raped, there's no reason to lie about not wanting to have sex...If you don't want it, tell him you are not interested....not trying to play the 90 days rule (yes I know about the rule and the men know it too) or playing hard to get... enough said...And if you think you can chop from the guy and use the periodic lie to escape...it's every day for the thief ooo....I have spoken.

#2) I AM FASTING.....

Yes I know this sounds weird but I have told this lie too and I will explain myself *covers face*. There was a time this babe *points at self* was a broke ass marafucka. I was broke and my boyfriend then was selfish like an idiot... so I met this super rich guy and somehow I hinted I was broke and I needed money but instead of the guy saying the magic words....we all know the magic words right? The magic words that we ladies love the most is SEND YOUR ACCOUNT NUMBER... but this bros said I should come over and I knew how this guy rolled. My friend had given me gist about him. I couldn't think of any lie at that point....mehn being broke is a bastard...you can't think straight when you don't have a dime...so the 'I am fasting' lie just came up from nowhere. I got to uncle's house and he started giving me sexy eyes and was starting to caress my thighs. Sharp sharp I just told him I was fasting. The way his face changed was faster than Usain Bolt...aswear. To cut the story, I was back in my house in an hour... please don't ask if he gave me the money... but I was still broke the next day and I've not heard from him since then till tomorrow. It was when Leboo mentioned it that I realized ladies really do use this lie...hmnn.. Like I always say, no one will force you to do what you don't want to.

#3) I AM CELIBATE....

 Okay one question for the Celibate-lying sisters.... if you are celibate, what the hell are you trying to do going to a guy's house alone??... My neighbour was angry when he was telling me this one. He said he feels if you want to be celibate, you shouldn't try dating until you are ready for marriage. These men out there ain't loyal... try the celibate story and they would either cajole you into doing it or they would rape you. If you are celibate and you are serious about it, just tell the guy on the phone and let him know how serious you are. If he still says come over, take a friend with you so you don't do what you don't want to do...Besides it is not by force to go to his house....let your NO be NO... It's better to be safe than sorry.

The last one I want to mention is "YOU ARE LIKE A BROTHER TO ME AND SEX WILL ONLY COMPLICATE THINGS BETWEEN US"😂...

To the bros's that have been told this one lie, my friend you have been brother-zoned. You either break that zone or just break away and run. I know things can get complicated when sex is involved in any kind of relationship but what is worse is being told 'you are like a brother' when you are clearly not and you both can't have sex cos of that. That's painful... I have been made to believe that some girls say it but they don't mean it...they only want you to work a little hard to get the cherry or they just want to keep enjoying the benefits from the guys and still avoid paying back in kind..You know like having their cake and eating it... But if she says it and she means it, bros take heart. Why did you too have to make her see you like a brother and not a toaster? You sef na wa o...pele...LOL

I do not want to bore you with plenty stories....all the lies I listed above are lies women only tell when they don't want to have sex with you. There are some we tell on normal days so that you don't perceive us as promiscuous or the ones we tell to boost the men's ego *clears throat*...our lies have categories but if you are interested in knowing more lies, please visit my friend Google...he'll never let you down when it comes to issues like these...

I love you all... Thank you so much for your time. Have a lovely Tuesday. Moby double sights y'all...

Cheers...

😍😙😘😚💋👄💕